Ack! What Do I Do Now?
by Nagini Crimson
Summary: DISCONTINUED! Sirius meets up with a Muggle teen who isn't all she's cracked up to be. She know Sirius as her her pet, and her friend, but not as a person. He can never let her find out. If she knew, he would die.
1. What a CUTE Pupppy Wuppy! ^.*

  
  
  
  
  
DISLAIMER!: I don't own any Harry Potter(c) stuff or the like, itz JKR'z..... but if you notice sumthin or sum one not in the Harry Potter(c) books... itz MINE! MINE I TELL YOU! MINE!  
  
  
(Itz the perfect, I'm a kid and lets keep the puppy mommy!!! Type of story!!! Muahahahahaha, I love torturing Sirius, he's just so cute!)  
  
"Mooooom! I finished my summer homework already. Can't I go out now? Jess is waiting for me!"  
  
"Well I suppose so...." Her mother said thoughtfully.  
  
Thirteen year-old Stephanie-Marie Adams went out into her backyard, where there was a dense thicket. She had to go to her secret hideout deep near the back, about a mile and a half from her house.  
  
"This walk is going to take a while." In truth, Steph hadn't done her homework yet. She just told her mother that so she could meet up with her friend. Stephanie-Marie wasn't a bad kid, but she hated homework, and was the best damn liar she had met. She was thirteen, but sometimes she acted like she was most older, but other times she acted as immature as a young child.   
  
Jessie McMullen was only twelve, but that didn't matter. She was just like Steph, only crazier. And the both of them could lie like the dickens.  
  
Steph walked swiftly through the trees, looking for animals nearby. "Just some boring squirrels, a few chipmunks, a big black dog, a- A BIG BLACK DOG?" Her eyes lit up.  
  
A large, black, sickly looking dog was limping around. "Oh the poor baby... Oooh... I hope he's not um, dangerous.... He looks hurt..." And despite her better judgment, Stephanie-Marie ran over to the dog and started to pet him. The dog looked shocked, he hadn't thought anyone was in this forest.  
  
"Hmmm... No collar you little rogue you," she said in a soft voice. Sirius mentally sighed to himself. She opened up her bag of equipment for setting a trap for Nicole Marks, the bitch who liked to mess up their camp, as she found it one day.  
  
"Aha!" she pulled out a long robe. "You sweet little thing you, Jessie would love to see you!" and she tied a small hole at the end, made a loop, and slid it over around his head. Sirius noticed he was being leashed too late.  
  
"Damn it..."  
  
"Come on... Let's go!" Stephanie walked the last half-mile talking to the dog, trying to figure out what to name it.  
  
"Hmm... Famous dogs..." and she started listing names off waiting for his reaction.  
  
"Tramp? No... Rover? Er- Balto? Nah... Lassie's a girl name... Pluto?" he seemed to slightly lift his head up. She was getting warm when it came to astronomy.  
  
"Er... Black dog? A Star maybe??? I'll ask Jessie, she knows more about space than me."  
  
"Jess!!! Jessie! Look who I found! Isn't he a doll?"  
  
"How do you know it's a 'he'?"  
  
Stephanie just gave her friend a Look. "How do you think?" Sirius's eye's widened and blushed furiously, and he was freaking out, she was only a child!  
  
"Oh my god Stephanie! Look at him! It looks like the puppy wuppy's embawassed!!!!" Jessie said, kneeling and staring at Sirius, speaking in a baby-talk voice.  
  
You know any god names I could use for the tyke? He seems to like Space Stuff..."  
  
"Stars... Constellations... Sirius?" He barked joyfully. "Sirius the Dogstar?" Sirius didn't want to do this, but he licked her hand.  
  
"Perfect." Steph said. "Now how do you propose I sneak him into the house.?"  
  
"Search me.... Can he do tricks? Lie sit down? Roll over? Beg?" at each thing she said, just to please them and act normal, like a run away dog, he preformed the trick.  
  
"Crap, you were so late in getting here Steph that I have to leave now or Mum will have my head. See you Sirius!! Bya!" Steph just rolled her eyes. Jessie's mother was worse than her's, if at all possible.  
  
Steph started leading Sirius back to her house. "Come on you poor thing, you look starved, I'm going to take you home, and feed you, and wash you, and brush your fur, maybe give it a trim, and then you little mister are going to take a long rested nap so I can try to talk some sense into Mum."  
  
Twenty minutes later, Sirius was eating some warm rice and ground beef leftovers she had in the fridge, not only filling, but delicious, the best meal he had had in a very long time.  
  
Stephanie started to run a bath, dipping her feet in it every minute or so, making sure that the water wasn't too cool, or too hot for the canine. Expecting him to be fussy about the water, she laid down towels on the bathroom floor, and was wearing a swimsuit and shorts.  
  
She dunked him into the tub and softly rubbed his with her soap-covered hands. "You poor thing, you. Look at this silly, you have been in this tub for five minutes MAXIMUM, and it's already filthy. Tut Tut Tut."  
  
It took two more baths, but he was finally clean. Stephanie was lucky that her mother left a note saying that she went grocery shopping. "Snippety snip!" she said sweetly, calmly, trying not to scare him, bringing up scissors, and cutting the matted, tangled, and ridiculously long fur until it was trimmed.  
  
She searched her room, but the best thing to brush his fur that she could find was a comb. After an hour of brushing, his fur was shiny and soft looking again.  
  
It was starting to get late, and Stephanie was very tired. She turned on the radio, very softly, and coaxed the dog onto her bed, where she wrapped him up in her blanket with her, her arm draped over him protectively.  
  
"Good-night Sirius..." she yawned. She slowly drifted off quickly, and Sirius did as well, having not slept in a bed, let alone such a comfy bed, in roughly fourteen years.  
  
"Love you..." she mumbled restlessly, and that was what Sirius was afraid of most.  



	2. Can I Keep Em? PLEASE????

(((All right, this time I'm going to be concentrating on Sirius and his thoughts, since I suck at doing POV's…

(((All right, this time I'm going to be concentrating on Sirius and his thoughts, since I suck at doing POV's…. It'll still be third person! YAY!)))

(Now, just to clear a few things up, Stephanie-Marie or wutever and co. will **NOT** be making an appearance in any other of my fics, I might end up using the name as a joke…. But no, She ***IS*** a muggle… so….))

(as far as I know… in this chapter, Sirius wont transform, so anything "said" by him, is only thoughts.)

(I'm going to try and make this long… but no guarantees…[and the whole story WILL be long] so like, don't kill me for it being short…)

(Note frum Missie : I Love Paddy Spank.) [ dun worry daddy, I luv you too…. Just not the way Missie duz…. Ew.]

Disclaimer: Chapter one plz.

When Stephanie woke up, Sirius was still lazily plopped on her pillows.

"I wonder if mum's home yet…?" she wondered aloud.

Then she heard a loud slam and then, "Stephanie Marie! Help me put these groceries away!"

"Ugh… Coming Mother!" and she bounded down the staircase.

Sirius stretched out on the bed, waking up from the noise.

"Where the hell am I? …Oh yeah." Sirius rolled his eyes, recalling the events of earlier that day. "I just hope to the gods Remus finds out where I am." Thoughts were surrounding Sirius as he paced around the room. "Damn it… how am I going to escape? Oh! Here she comes!" he ran into her open closet.

"Sirius, come here baby… come here…" she said calmly, kneeling down, taking out her hand for him to sniff.

"Well at least she has some common sense…" he moved to sniff her hand. "Muggles… what the!" His eyes widened as he sniffed her hand, he sensed a bit of magic surrounding her that he hadn't noticed because of his fatigue earlier. "Hmm… how can this be? She- she's a muggle! Isn't she…" he thought as she led him out of the room and down the stairs.

"Here mum! This is Sirius, my new friend. Can I PLEASE keep the cutie?" Stephanie begged her shocked mother.

"Please say no. Please say no. Please say no." Sirius hoped, then maybe he could go back and find Remus, he lived fairly near by…

"Well, it-"

"He."

"*_He*_ is a cutie…" Stephanie's mother sighed. "If you take good care of him, you can keep him for *_now*._ But if we find his owner, then-"

"I know mum! We have to give him back!" she swooped down on the dog. "I love you, you little sweetie you!"

Stephanie started petting him and then said, come on boy, let's get you some dinner to eat, and then…. ***Yawn*** then… we are going back to bed." Sirius looked delighted at the thought.

After he feasted on a delicious steak, they went up into her room and she looked out of her window, staring at the stars. "Lookie! There is your star cutie sweet." She patted his head, and started to undress for bed.

"Holy crap!" Sirius thought. He turned around and covered his eyes with his paws, lying on the floor.

"Silly puppy!" she giggled, and slipped on a nightgown. "It's okay now… I'm dressed."She giggled at the fact, that after she said that, he moved one paw away to check, then dropped them both and stood up.

"Really Sirius… I swear, sometimes you act almost well… human." She gave an uncertain grin, and then shook her head. "Come on, up you go." She said, patting her bed.

"This is going to be a loooooong night." Padfoot thought.

He padded (hehe) up onto the bed, and laid down at the bottom of the bed.

"No silly! Get up… here…." She said pulling him up to her, to sleep next to him. Sirius closed his eyes sleepily. She stared into his eyes, hugged him, and kissed him. Sirius's eyes snapped open again.

"Goodnight Sirius, and meant what I said earlier, I love you…" she said playing with his ears. "I don't know how I ever did without a dog like you before now…" and she fell asleep.

"Shit."

(Sorry… shorter than I thought it would be. More action in the next one or two chapters though. Not quite so much Sirius (Paddy Spank) Torture…)


	3. "Sirius, I have a secret."

Oik… I like this story,… I was SO surprised + Happy at the response

Oik… I like this story,… I was **SO** surprised + Happy at the response!!! ***smiles BIG smile!!!***

Now, **bluemeanies**… lmao!!! Maybe… I'll see what I can do. Who the hell is Bob Barker?

** **

**Panchan**~ Er… I tried to do spell check and such… oops… MOST of the things, if spelt incorrectly, I try to…. (sometimes).

** **

**Kat Burnell**~ Cuz Sirius is SO luvable, you GOTTA torture the poor fellow..

**MISSIE** freakin **LUPIN**~!!!! LMAO… You sure know how to act insane.* (But then again... we all knew that.)

**Vixen**~ Really? Well I can't wait to read it then! ^.*

**Sarah Black**~ Thank you, *shares evil grin* Muahahahaha. (Nuuuu!!! It's ***gasp*** FINISHED? NO!!!!!!)

AND 

Evry1 else.. THANKZ 4 Reviewing… I LOVE YOU!!!

The next day, she tested Padfoot out, to see if she needed to use the rope as a leash until she could buy one. She figured that she could wait to get the leash until later that day.

"Come on Sirius! Jessie probably can't wait to see you!" she managed to drag him down the stairs.

_"My life is a living HELL_."Sirius was being **very** temperamental. But he was still very weak and thin, so she could carry him if she absolutely had to.

Stephanie clung to Sirius as if she were glued to him. Tomorrow Jessie would be going to camp until the last week of summer vacation. Stephanie was not popular. She had no friends except Jess, and Sirius now, and she wasn't very pretty, so she didn't have a boyfriend either.

"This is going to be the best vacation I've ever had Siri… You and me can stay in the woods all day, go to the city park and walk. Oooh!" she squealed, getting a sudden idea. "Natalie Ross will be **SO** jealous when she gets a load of **YOU** Sirius. SHE doesn't have a dog half as cool as you. She has a stupid cat. Oh! And there is this one girl, I really can't stand her because she is such a know-it-all, but she doesn't go to my school anymore. I swear she is so weird. She started going to a boarder school after fourth grade… Oh! I'm talking to a dog! You can't understand me… Or can you? I've got this weird feeling about you cutie… almost as if…. As if you're well, special." She shook her head and kept talking anyways.

"She is **so** annoying, that girl. And _what_ were her parents smoking when they named her? Seriously…." She giggled, noticing him look disgusted.

"And she has this friend, that acts so odd around me! His name is like… Ronald or something… He's sort of cute. But her boyfriend is like, super cute, except for his forehead… it's like, deformed. Okay, well I'm going to talk about something… well, different." They had just approached the hideout.

"Good, Jessie isn't here yet. Sirius, I have a secret I need to tell you." He looked up at her with big eyes.

"Wizards are real."


	4. *sobs* Draco Bashing. Ahh... Sweet Reven...

((Sorry the last chapter was so short

((Sorry the last chapter was so short. Blame Missie. She threatened (and did mind you) to press the "refresh" button on her browser till I uploaded, and would stop annoying me till I posted it…. *glares @ Missie))

(*crys* Drakie bashing ahead… *sobs*)))

**Missie**, ur a bit messed up! Stephanie isn't used to him, if you saw a freak on a leash, I mean, in the street, with a ghastly scar on his face, you'd freak too! PLUS! We don't know for a fact he is hott. (Okay… so he is, she SEZ he is.)

**Bluemeanies**~ Oh! Okay! I haven't watched that show for a while... lol…

**Emily**~ Thanks, I appreciate the love.

** **

*~~~~~*

"It's really scary Sirius… I mean, one day, there were these guys in some big robes walking around talking about a Lord and a worm tailed guy or something…." His ears perked up and he started growling.

"Shhh boy… It's okay, I was hiding behind a dumpster, I was fine; they didn't see me, no, not at all. Then this white-blonde guy started to write a letter, or a note, except he used a feather- er- a quill or whatever, to do it. And the paper was really funky. Then he pulled out a stick, well, I think it was a wand really Sirius. Don't give me that look. Then he turned a soda can from the ground into an _owl._ He tied the letter to its leg, and said to take it to his Lord Moldywarts or whatever." Even though this was a very grave (ur not gunna catch me say Serious… oh crap! I said it! :) lol!) matter, Sirius let out a bark-laugh. Stephanie looked at him oddly.

"Shit! You're… you're… laughing at me…." And she started crying. "Damn it. Not even my _dog_ will believe me…"

Instantly, Sirius felt bad, and started nudging his nose into her hand and sniffed it, and licked it, cuddling up to her. She sniffled and gave him a small smile.

"I wonder where Jessie is…. She's not usually late for our meetings. Let's go take a walk, eh? Here, I'll just leave her a note." Steph scribbled a note reading,

Sirius and I are going for a walk, we'll most likely be @ the park, since SOMEONE decides that she wants to be late.

Stephie

"C'mon Siri…" And she motioned for him to follow her.

Since they went out to the side, it only took them about ten minutes instead of twenty to get out of the woods.

Sirius's eyes widened. It _couldn't_ be him. But it was.

The pale man brushed past her, grimacing at being around so many mudbloods and muggles. Stephanie recognized him, well, an older version of him, but couldn't care less if he was an evil wizard or not.

"BASTARD!" she yelled at him. She always _did_ have a big mouth. "YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST APOLOGIZED FOR KNOCKING ME OVER BLONDIE!"

Draco Malfoy spun around, glaring at whoever dared to call him "Blondie".

('K, I'm an ULTIMATE Draco Malfoy fan, as you can tell from my other fics, but in this case, he's a total bastard.)

"What. Did. _You_. Call_ me?_" he said menacingly.

"I. Called. _You_. "Blondie". _Blondie._ Are you sure dat you, speaka de Engalish? Cuz if not, I can teach it to you, or rather, my fist can. Or maybe my foot even. Both body parts are more intelligent than _you_, apparently." Sirius bared his teeth at the boy.

_Hmmm… I wonder… maybe if I… _"Sic him boy!" Sirius was glad to. And it was quite satisfying as well.

"Help me! Savage, wild, MAD DOG trying to bite my ass off!!! Help!" Malfoy shrieked.

"You are a disgrace, you scream like a girl. Apologize _now_ or I _won't_ call him off." It was her turn to glare at him.

"I'm sorry, get him off!" he yelled, eyes wide.

"Down Siri… down boy… yes, good boy," she said as he slowly returned to her.

"Go to Michigan boy." She spat at Draco. She laughed when he looked puzzled. "Learn geography, runt. It's a state in the states. And there is a town in Michigan, called _Hell._ So don't waste my time any longer and bugger off." She turned around and marched off.

Draco was burning with anger. _No one. Not ANYONE, got the better of a MALFOY, especially NOT a common Muggle._

(A little bit longer… I'm working on more… Plz r/r… I could live off reviews.)


	5. Slytherin colors and a Snake.

Missie~ NEVER

**Missie**~ NEVER! INSULT! DRAKIE MALFOY! IN FRONT! OF! MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

(I luv my sweetie punkin…. [loo] He's **SO** hott!)

**Never mind the Missie issue, unless ur Missie plz…. Oik…. Here goes:**

*~~~~~*

"Good boy Sirius, I didn't think you'd actually do it, but I'm sure glad you did cutie." Sirius winced inwardly. He hated being called cutie, even as a human, he avoided the girls at school who called him that. "Hmm… You don't seem to like that do you?"

_"I swear, it's like she can read my thoughts, she knows so much about animals. The squirrels in the wood didn't even run away as she came near me… And then there is the whole "Moldywarts" thing… There is **something** about this girl that's special… but WHAT?"_

"Okay Siri, you wait right out here, by this fire hydrant. I'm going into the pet shop to buy you a leash. Okay, since **I** think you can understand me… colors… Purple?" he shook his head no.

"Didn't think so… er- Green?" Sirius was appalled. A _Slytherin_ color, yuck. 

"No. Blue? Red?" she stuck gold with that. He nodded and barked happily.

"Okay boy, wait here…"

Ten minutes later she walked out with a fiery red leash, and a GREEN collar.

"Sorry Sirius, they didn't have any red collars, and red and green look so good together." She shrugged. "Don't want you getting sent to the pound for not having a leash…." She said jovially, placing it around his neck, he was thoroughly disgusted. This was the first time he ever had a leash or collar, and he hated it.

As they reached the park, she saw a garden snake by a shrub. "Hi there…" she hissed at it. Sirius had no idea as to what it was she said.

_"What the hell…? I thought she was a muggle… She's a parselmouth?"_

Stephanie had no idea she was speaking another language though, and they walked over to a bench. "Hey birdie!" she sang up to a robin in a tree.

_"What the fuck is going on here?! Sirius wondered. She speaks to birds as well? Oh gods… She couldn't possibly be a-"_ but his words were cut off by a persons voice.

"Hullo Stephanie! Long time no see!" 

"Yeah, really Jess. Why weren't you at the hideout?" Stephanie asked incredulously.

"Well, I er- I saw this boy, and he was really cute, and-"

"And so you stopped to talk to him?" Stephanie laughed. "Boy crazy, you are! I swear, if you saw Hermione Granger's boyfriend Harry, then you couldn't stop talking to him for a month!"

Unfortunately for Sirius, he wasn't paying attention to Steph at the moment, so he didn't hear the mention of his godson, and his friend.

For the next hour, Stephie and jess walked around the park, chatting, while Sirius was lost in his thoughts about this strange girl.


	6. "We Can't Have Sirius Getting Frisky wit...

Missie~ Shut up already

**Missie**~ Shut up already! No I do ***NOT*** have MILK!

**Patronus Girl**~ Er… easy on the Prozac… :) lol :) Don't worry, they **will** show up in the story.

**Eiez**~ Thanks! I actually love it too! (OMG! A third!) [I only like three of my stories so far… but oh well.)

**Black Sparkles**~ That's what I'm doing now… hehe!

**My Lady Baroness**~ Er.. Spiffy? You remind me of someone that I can't quite place… spiffy? Lol!

**FeatherQuill**~ Hyper!!!! *****bounces up and down*** **I'm putting up moresies now!! :)

**Lily Catherine O'Connor **~ Really? You're dying? Hmm… I guess I better get this up and done now.

**I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT AN AWESOME RESPONSE THIS STORY HAS GIVEN ME!!! THANK YOU ALL!!!!!**

_ _

_The Chapter That Everyone Hates…_

_ _

[No! I am not revealing what she is in this chapter! Yes! I do know what it is. And P.s. PADDY SPANK TORTURE IS FUN!!!]

Sirius was very awake when they had gotten back to the house, and for some odd reason, very much wanted to play with a ball. Sirius sneaked (I always thought the work was "snuck") upstairs, into Stephanie-Marie's room and found what he wanted, a lightweight, purple and green (ew) spotted tennis ball.

"Come on Siri… I'm tired… I don't want to play." Sirius kept nudging her hand until she got up from her chair, and took the ball from his mouth. The two walked outside, and they started to play.

Twenty minutes later Sirius was tired of playing, "_What the hell am I doing? I'm playing **fetch**? What kind of sick joke is this…?_" and he shook his head.

"Hey Mum! What are you doing home so early?" Stephanie's mother had just stepped out of her car and was walking up the front steps.

"Nothing much to do at work, we finished the paperwork pretty early." Her mother shrugged. "You know… We really can't have that dog getting frisky with any one else's dog… Let's take him to the vet this weekend, so we can get him fixed."

"_What the fucking hell?!_" Sirius was freaking out. "_No, without my… *gulp* manhood, I'm not Sirius Black!" _and he started running with his tail between his legs behind Stephanie.  
  
__

Stephanie was laughing. "Mother, I don't think that Sirius appreciates your idea."

Her mother rolled her eyes, "Woe betide you if he makes even _one_ baby pup… You. Will be. In _so_ much trouble that you won't remember what sunlight is." She threatened. "Oh yes, a young boy by the name of Harry wanted to know if you would go into town with him and his friends on Wednesday, I passed him on my way home. I really think you should go. You need some friends."

"Sorry mum, but I don't really like them, they're kind of weird and well, I was planning on reading on Wednesday ANYWAY!" she finished lamely, running upstairs into her room.

"Stupid Harry Potter! You think you're _so _great, just because you have friends who are as weird as you! Well fine! I don't need you or your lame friends. I know you're only inviting me 'cuz you feel pity for me! Bastard!" she was whispering to herself, and Sirius just managed to hear the name, _Harry Potter._

Sirius barked. Now was one of those times that Sirius wished that he was a human so he could talk to her. But she's a muggle, and he couldn't let her find out he was an Animagus. Besides he was just an escape convict in the muggle world as in the wizard. 

"Oh god… but he _is_ cute. What a shame that Hermione is dating him…." She sighed.

_"But then again, she already knows about witches and wizards… doesn't she? Oh… but she probably think that they are all bad."_ Sirius was in a world of his own now.

"SHIT!" she said in a _very_ loud whisper. "One of those… Moldywarts follower wizards people… were talking about… the... *gulp* _Potter boy…_ Could that be why he and his friends are always whispering and being so… weird…? Is he a wizard? You know… I _will_ go on Wednesday, but not to be a friend, but to spy on him."

"_Good! Harry will identify me! And take me to Moony's! PERFECT!"_

"Sirius… you are going to have to reside here though, don't want any funny business to hurt you." Sirius looked downtrodden.

She immediately started away on packing up a shoulder bag with her equipment, grinning madly.****


End file.
